HOLY SHIT!That's a spider, it's a spider, a spider... OMG it's a spider. I toss Zuri out of the shower, dripping wet. For some reason, I continue to wash, rather quickly, but keeping my eye on the devil with 8 legs. (My plan is to finish my shower, then seal off the bathroom, never to open it again. He can have it). I'm just about done and he starts running at me! I start screaming and crying and jump out. I run to my closet, grab a shoe, open the shower stall and throw the shoe at him. It grazes his legs and I throw it again. And again and again, until SUCCESS, he does the 'curl up and die'. I have soap on my face, so I rinse it off real quick and go to really squish him, so I can flush him, and he jumps up and runs back to the corner. I'm screaming 'Why won't you die??' and crying again. Aaron comes in, wants to see what's going on, but I'm convinced it's a baby eating spider and scream for him to get away (Way to go mom, he already has a fear of bugs.). I run downstairs, grab my weed killer (it's the only thing in the house that says 'killer' on it, so it's my only option) and run back upstairs... Remember, I'm naked.
I then begin to drown him in weed killer. Not just one or two squirts, but I empty out the whole bottle on him. He is now legs up, floating in a sea of Round Up. Not convinced he's dead, I shut the shower door, stuff a towel under it, just in case and shut the bathroom door, stuffing a towel under it. He's fooled me once, not going to happen again.
After all this, I come down stairs to check and see what kind he is, convinced that because of his size (with leg span, about the size of a silver dollar) he is highly venomous and I just saved us all from a painful death.
He's a grass spider. According to Wiki 'They are harmless spiders.'
* the photo is not of my spider, it's off the internet. Hopefully, my spider is dead.
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9 comments:
ROFL!!! OMG!
I went in to our powder bath sunday morning and just got my shorts down and glanced over at something moving in the door jam... it was a freaking lizard! I stood up on the open pot with my pants down screaming. Brett came in and tried to get it with toilet paper but only pulled it's tail from the head. The head laid there flopping around while I was STILL screaming! LOL He was just as freaked out as I was! Good grief.. how on earth did a lizard get in our house!?!?!?
It's crap like this that will send us mommies to an early death. Give me a poopie diaper 5 times a day over this crap!
LOL! Oh you poor thing! I'm sure it was very traumatic for you. My youngest DD is just like that. Terrified of the suckers. I just squish em dead.
I think you got him! Supermom, thats you!
eww, i SO hate spiders. gross!
Ahhh...spiders give me the creepy creeps!
OH MY GOSH!!! You made me laugh so hard! I was envisioning myself in this story because I am pretty much the same way (hate spiders) and I love the noble pursuit! Saving everyone from death. Way to go. :)
That play-by-play was hilarious and reminded me A LOT of myself. I often leave bugs under shoes or books for my husband to dispose of. Since he travels a lot, it isn't exactly convenient. Still, I'm not exposing myself to some last ditch attack!
OMG, I am laughing so hard. Make it stop! I had no idea you were such a woos about this. Mark will feel better now. [We are heading to the ocean tomorrow and he is refusing to swim for fear of sharks, a foot off shore. He's more afraid of spiders. Who's the woman here?!?]
I sincerely hope for yours and his sake that your spider is dead. Poor thing. Not sure which of you I feel worse for. - Can you tell I am not afraid of them? I'll come kill the next one for ya.
ROFLMAO!!! Thank you... I needed a good laugh today!!
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